Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Joke's On Me

It's April Fool's and my cat died. I woke up this morning and watched him dying on the kitchen floor, his fat black body stretched out, mouth open. I was afraid everyone would think I was joking, but they didn't. I guess it was my eyes, they go from gray to clear when I've been crying. I admit I did, briefly, in the bathroom of the preschool where I work, after watching three year-old kids racing at recess. I remember in first grade my teacher read us a short April Fool's chapter of Sideways Stories from Wayside School at storytime. It was only a page long and the whole class begged for another more substantial Louis Sachar fix. She promised us one, licked a finger, turned a page and then smiled "April Fool's!" she shouted. That's how I feel right now. Like a disappointed first grader, not sure what has been taken from me or why. I never understood cruelly twisting someone's expectations, though through elementary school I continued the vicious cycle, generally convincing a friend one of my parents was dead. Now, the loss is real and I'm still stupidly thinking: I wish the cat had told me. Under the scalding spray of my morning shower I half expected to open the bathroom door to him purring over his Meow Mix, a higher power's cruel idea of what this day should be.



Anonymous said...

it's gonna be okay

Heather J. Chin said...

if there's a cat heaven for Jewish cats, then I'm sure he's there, eating Meow Mix, sending poop reminders raining down on you today.

I'm sorry for you and your cat. Did he/she live a long life?

And as Anonymous said, it'll be a little bit more okay eventually.

Diana Kinscherf said...

Fiddy was the best cat ever. He was always there for me and I spoiled his fat little ass for it. There is a little caveman-type painting of Fiddy on my wall and it will be there forever.

Anonymous said...

does anyone else fucking love sideways stories from waydside school?

Anonymous said...

still talking about april fools here?