Saturday, March 7, 2009

Fake News - Inside the Limo

Britney Spears is back in the limelight and doesn't seem to be cringing as much. Has the latent teen queen finally found a worthy therapist or is the truth much more gruesome and sinister? We at Pomp hear that her publicist just wasn't ready to lose her meal ticket and took some desperate measures to get her pubis back into the good graces of the American public. Rumor has it, that Spears is hiding in the hills somewhere getting lobotomized after certain "Face/Off" inspired plastic surgery with her publicist. Could it be? Is the Spears who sings about Womanizers and smiles readily at the cameras really a Spears’ publicist with a new face on? Say it ain't so!!!

Leading up to Lance Black’s self-congratulatory Oscar speech and the melee over Prop 8 in Hollywood’s hallowed halls, Rihanna revealed to long time BJ buddy Chris Brown that she is a man, prompting her vicious beating. After successfully hiding her true sex behind a square jaw, she was driven by dope and booze in a glamorous pre Grammy’s party to open up to her beau. Brown’s own sexuality was not only called into question, but he was enraged he could no longer accurately call her “his bitch.” In the ensuing media frenzy and secretly supported by down low doormat Kanye West, Rihanna and Chris have reunited. She still has the pecker, but apparently not the balls to leave this slimy singer.

Quick fix: Aaron Spelling's spawn Tori will be doing a reading this Wednesday from her "book" at 7 on 82nd and Broadway Barnes & Noble.

Gossip Churl


Anonymous said...

yo... this shit for real?

Anonymous said...

that's a great pic of b spears, she just looks so happy!

Anonymous said...

lol-ing my face off at this

Anonymous said...

i would have gone with just gossip hurl

Kastoory said...

anonymous #4 - you want in on the edit meetings? your ideas are on point. anonymous #1 - this shit is certainly not for real.