Oh, Craigslist.

This weekend, I was very proactive in my apartment hunt.  I visited, like, a million neighborhoods. I also posted, like, a million ads on Craigslist. I enjoy using "like" to exaggerate.

The ad that got the most responses included somewhat relevant information about myself:

“I love dogs, but will never have one of my own until I "settle down," which will probably never happen. I hate cats, because I'm allergic to them.”

As well as some seemingly superfluous information about myself:

"I will play an excessive amount of The Velvet Underground and Nina Simone, but I can use headphones if this bothers you. I am a pretty quiet person. Also, I'm perpetually, comfortably single. So you probably won't hear me having sex on a regular basis. Which, is generally a positive thing (maybe not for me).”

I also, inexplicably, included a photo. Now, without further ado, I bring you:

The Best (and worse) of The Craigslist Responses

I, too, am named Hanna and have been spending my nights stalking Craigslist… I'll see your Velvet Underground, and raise you Tom Waits.

You are welcome to view likely mid week, as I am presently in the midst of Herculean labors…

This building is like the Friends series (even though it wasn’t even filmed in New York). Everyone knows each other. And my (our?) next door neighbor is Ross.

You are cute, funny & articulate. I am not going to tell you about my apartment and you can’t move in with me! The sexual frustration would kill me!

5.  Ur photo is cute. Can I take u 2 dinner?

-Hannah Miet Levine