Tuesday, September 8, 2009

PASSED! : America Gets Universal Health Care!

Early today, after a Supreme Court ruling and an emergency session of Congress, President Barack Obama signed universal health care in to law.

"One of the junior lawyers in the Justice Department brought Godwin's Law and Corollary to our attention, and we had to take action on it," reported Chief Justice John Roberts in a statement on Tuesday morning. "Personally, I don't support universal health care. But my job is to read the law as it is written. And Godwin's Law is quite clear about resolving arguments in which there have been comparisons to Hitler or the Nazis."

A little known law, Godwin's Law, on the books since 1990, states that as the length of a argument increases, the chance of one side comparing the other to Hitler or the Nazis approaches 100%. Godwin's Corollary states that once the Nazi/Hitler comparison is made, the argument is over and the party making the comparison has lost.

Barney Frank, appearing in the video below, had this to say: "It was hard to keep my cool. I didn't want to say anything at the Town Hall meeting, in case the courts decided not to side with us. But I had a feeling, right then and there, that we had finally won the health care debate, and that we were going to get what we had worked so hard for."

Mike Godwin, author of the law, seems almost apologetic about the ruling. "I wanted folks who glibly compared someone else to Hitler or to Nazis to think a bit harder about the Holocaust," he told jewcy.com.

In a victorious speech to Congress after the bill was passed, Obama declared "Unless I start advocating for genocide or drawing up plans to invade Poland, comparing me to Hitler or my plans to Nazi Germany is irresponsible nonsense that trivializes the horror of the holocaust, and exploits the memory of six million dead Jews for petty political gain."

Yosef Goldman, a Holocaust survivor reached for comment, reacted to Obama's speech. "I'm hoping the courts overturn this. The government is forcing affordable health care on me. It's just like being back in Auschwitz."


Anonymous said...

haha what the feck? universal healthcare means dead jews? i really don't think so.

Robert Dobbs said...

Well, you know, with all the protesters holding up signs of Obama with a Hitler moustache, the woman talking to Barney Frank about Obama's "Nazi policy"... I thought it was about time to call them out on their ridiculous horseshit, and imagine a world in which Godwin's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law) was *actual* law.

Robert Dobbs said...

Because, yes, you're absolutely right, universe healthcare has nothing to do with the holocaust whatsoever, and so conjuring their memory in an attempt to stop universal healthcare is not only cheap but also ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Well I must be naive because I thought it might be actual law. Well, it should be.

Anonymous said...

I love the survivor's comment.